Dear D.,
Last night as I was sitting there in the food court of the Eau Claire
centre I was pondering my existence and feeling it to be rather futile.
I was bemoaning my circumstances. When I looked at my hands I saw only
failure. When I listened for love, I saw only denial. I was looking
inside myself for an answer to why I had failed so horribly in all the
endeavours I had tried for. I was tired of my continual inadequacy, my
inability to love well, to listen well, to be patient enough. And I
could find no answer that would satisfy. And so, I cried. Not
horribly, or fearfully or desperately, but simply because I felt the
failure in my hands. I didn't expect anything to come from it but wet
cheeks.
And then I felt a hand on my shoulder, soft, comforting, simple. At
first I didn't respond, because the feeling was so necessary, I felt
myself relax and assured.
That was your hand. And although you probably had no idea what was
going on, it was a blessing.
And whether or not it makes a difference, I felt I needed to share
these thoughts with someone and you seemed like the person who should
hear them.
I think sometimes the hum of the universe works in very simple and
very small ways. Sometimes a miracle is nothing more than a friends
hand. Thank you.
I wanted to give you something last night for your birthday but I
was so caught up in my own troubles I had forgotten. Once I figure out
a good way to transport it...I will bring it to you.
May you have a joyful year. May you be blessed in all your
endeavours!